One subway rider was a little too excited about the prospects of riding New York City’s D train, deciding their commute was the perfect time to perfect their sloppy toppy skills during a recent trip on the MTA.

Clad in a large straw sunhat, one straphanger took one heck of an approach to reclaiming their travel time, suctioning a large dildo to a subway car window and proceeding to go to town, sucking it, licking it, smacking it, and evening pinking it like a ‘90s kid with a springy door stopper.

all aboard the D train
byu/Artane_33 inPublicFreakout

After several moments of going in, the rider gained a shocking semblance of self-awareness, glancing back at the cameraperson clandestinely recording their steamy foray.

Though several questions remain surrounding this crazy train ride, one that has since gone viral on r/PublicFreakout, one thing is certain — to paraphrase Redditor u/Jack_Bartowski, you could scale a skyscraper with that dildo’s impressive suction.